The ‘Overthinking’ Mind

Worrying, for some (especially over-thinkers like me), has the potential to become a full-time occupation. The brain chunters away below the surface of whatever else is going on in life, taking in the view, and coming up with the worst possible situation at any given moment.

At any given moment, the brain might choose to fixate on something, gets it teeth stuck in, gnaw away at a previous innocuous circumstance, inflaming it, turning it wild. At this point, the thinker had better have the nous to step smartly away, take the brain in hand, and stop making things worse.

The advanced over-thinker can even worry about worrying, is this you?

Worrying (I think) stems from a sense of self-preservation. If we can imagine the worst possible outcomes, we can prepare to manage them, or better, avoid them completely. If we can envisage catastrophe, we can hopefully see a way to extricate ourselves before it happens, or at least with as little damage as possible. Worrying might well be ingrained in our systems precisely because it is such an effective protector of life. Without it, we wouldn’t be here.

Our early years are fraught with the contagious concerns of our parents, regarding what we might touch, trip, or choke on. We learn to be cautious, even fearful. We learn to internalise a cycle of worrying in hope it might prevent disaster. At some point, this vicious cycle has to be stopped, or consume the thinker entirely.


Maslow’s base concerns aside, it’s easy to get lost in the back and forth of whether or not one’s other needs are being adequately met.

From a safety point of view, worries can appear like pop-ups in the day to day life; do you have enough money to last the month? Am I going to make it on time?  Should I find an alternative route to this dark alleyway?

Worries about the next tier up (love and belonging) are less a pop-up, and more of a series of tangling threads weaving through the everyday. In spite of the luxury of some of those threads remaining consistent and strong, there’s always a trail of loose ends and snaggling thoughts regarding belonging, the deserving (or not) of love, and whether or not I think enough of myself to feel I ought to belong in the first place.

Here, the tangling thoughts grow seeds and roots, tapping deep into the next level up – esteem. Worries in this area are sown early, childhood experiences proving fertile ground for those demon seeds to set root, forcing their tendrils through the psyche, cracking it beyond all knowledge of repair. When life waters those seeds ( and it does, often), the hell-plants take on vigour, bearing stinking blossoms, fast-falling fruit, and a further smattering of demon seeds to start the cycle once more, with feeling. The thicket of worries rooted in esteem has only proven susceptible to machetes wielded carefully by those who care deeply, and the blazing sunshine of their love, from which is recoils, screaming.

Conversely, the worries surrounding self-actualisation, I have found consistently encouraging, as though finding new things to concern myself with mean additional stepping stones along the way, with the implication that each stepping stone stepped is one less stone that needs stepping in the future. As though I am something which can ever be finished. However distant that goal, I am content in discovering new ways to become my best self, and part of the joy is in the journey – seeing how far I’ve come, as well as how far I think I can go. In the meantime, I am determined to value the small successes, and reap their rewards, even if my status never goes beyond ‘Becoming’, I am certain it will only be in response to the shifting sands of time and circumstance, and half the fun is in navigating the changes in life.

In all cases, counting my blessings and being thankful has always proven suitable recourse from worrying, with the added advantage that once I realise how relatively little I have to worry about, and element of freedom creeps in, lifting my spirits.


Thank you for reading, there will be a follow up post to this with top tips on how to stop overthinking. Keep your eyes peeled lovelies.

14 thoughts on “The ‘Overthinking’ Mind

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  1. So much love for this post. I have always been a chronic overthinker. Like I overthink every little thing. I think we fear failing or getting hurt and not being able to pick up the pieces and get back up from it. But the thing is we are so much stronger than we think and everytime we get back up. Usually 99% of what we worry about never even happens. Its so true though its the small successes we need to be grateful for and seeing how far you have come does eliminate so many worries. You sound like you’re on the right track hun. This is definitely something everyone should read as its so true and most of us don’t acknowledge it. Well done you, You’ve got this 💕.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much for reading and giving this positive feedback, really means the world. I also hope you’re able to minimise overthinking 💕


  2. I relate to this so much as an over thinker. For me, thinking negatively means that if there is a negative outcome I’m not too let down and if everything goes fine I’m pleasantly surprised, at least that’s how my brain thinks. But I’d rather just not worry because 90% of the time everything turns out fine anyway! I love your metaphor of the stepping stones though (your whole post is written beautifully by the way) and we can learn from our worries, being grateful that everything is okay can help get rid of them. I look forward to your next post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this! I’m such an overthinker! I always used to think that by imagining the things can only be better but it’s such an awful way to think! I’m slowly starting to change my thinking habits! Great post thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s difficult to quiet the overthinking mind…but find that exercising, reading and writing helps – that is if I allow myself the time to pull back…it’s a daily goal to achieve

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have always been an overthinker but the older I get the more I am realizing that overthinking does not change things. I now try meditation and relaxing (more so now that I am an empty nester and retired; although I will always worry about my “babies” even though they have grown and left the nest.

    Liked by 1 person

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