The ‘Overthinking’ Mind

Worrying, for some (especially over-thinkers like me), has the potential to become a full-time occupation. The brain chunters away below the surface of whatever else is going on in life, taking in the view, and coming up with the worst possible situation at any given moment.

At any given moment, the brain might choose to fixate on something, gets it teeth stuck in, gnaw away at a previous innocuous circumstance, inflaming it, turning it wild. At this point, the thinker had better have the nous to step smartly away, take the brain in hand, and stop making things worse.

The advanced over-thinker can even worry about worrying, is this you?

Worrying (I think) stems from a sense of self-preservation. If we can imagine the worst possible outcomes, we can prepare to manage them, or better, avoid them completely. If we can envisage catastrophe, we can hopefully see a way to extricate ourselves before it happens, or at least with as little damage as possible. Worrying might well be ingrained in our systems precisely because it is such an effective protector of life. Without it, we wouldn’t be here.

Our early years are fraught with the contagious concerns of our parents, regarding what we might touch, trip, or choke on. We learn to be cautious, even fearful. We learn to internalise a cycle of worrying in hope it might prevent disaster. At some point, this vicious cycle has to be stopped, or consume the thinker entirely.

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Maslow’s base concerns aside, it’s easy to get lost in the back and forth of whether or not one’s other needs are being adequately met.

From a safety point of view, worries can appear like pop-ups in the day to day life; do you have enough money to last the month? Am I going to make it on time?  Should I find an alternative route to this dark alleyway?

Worries about the next tier up (love and belonging) are less a pop-up, and more of a series of tangling threads weaving through the everyday. In spite of the luxury of some of those threads remaining consistent and strong, there’s always a trail of loose ends and snaggling thoughts regarding belonging, the deserving (or not) of love, and whether or not I think enough of myself to feel I ought to belong in the first place.

Here, the tangling thoughts grow seeds and roots, tapping deep into the next level up – esteem. Worries in this area are sown early, childhood experiences proving fertile ground for those demon seeds to set root, forcing their tendrils through the psyche, cracking it beyond all knowledge of repair. When life waters those seeds ( and it does, often), the hell-plants take on vigour, bearing stinking blossoms, fast-falling fruit, and a further smattering of demon seeds to start the cycle once more, with feeling. The thicket of worries rooted in esteem has only proven susceptible to machetes wielded carefully by those who care deeply, and the blazing sunshine of their love, from which is recoils, screaming.

Conversely, the worries surrounding self-actualisation, I have found consistently encouraging, as though finding new things to concern myself with mean additional stepping stones along the way, with the implication that each stepping stone stepped is one less stone that needs stepping in the future. As though I am something which can ever be finished. However distant that goal, I am content in discovering new ways to become my best self, and part of the joy is in the journey – seeing how far I’ve come, as well as how far I think I can go. In the meantime, I am determined to value the small successes, and reap their rewards, even if my status never goes beyond ‘Becoming’, I am certain it will only be in response to the shifting sands of time and circumstance, and half the fun is in navigating the changes in life.

In all cases, counting my blessings and being thankful has always proven suitable recourse from worrying, with the added advantage that once I realise how relatively little I have to worry about, and element of freedom creeps in, lifting my spirits.

 

Thank you for reading, there will be a follow up post to this with top tips on how to stop overthinking. Keep your eyes peeled lovelies.

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March Goals

Before I say a single word guys, I just want to apologise for this post being soooo late. We’re already a week into March and time is just flying by. I am usually incredibly organised I promise, but with me getting into work and trying to put that first, I have struggled to piece this together. But, here we are and lets do it!

 

Again, this month I am going to be focusing on my personal development and just growing as a person. So to begins, I’m going to review my last months goals to see where I have achieved.

 

Daily Task Sheets

This really healthy routine has really helped me get through February efficiently, especially in terms of my blog and wanting to network more with fellow bloggers. As I discussed in my February goals post, this method of work was to help me stay motivated and interact with others. I thought I would share with you my progress for the month, as you can see below;

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This method is definitely something I will be carrying on with from month to month as I feel it has really helped me stay on track daily.

 

Use my new weekly planner

One thing I wanted to achieve last month was more productivity and organisation. I think that has definitely been hit! This AMAZING little weekly planner has been soooo helpful when tracking when I’m next in work even down to my contraception. Again, definitely something I will carry on using to keep me on track.

Find a job

As you may have seen already, I GOT THE JOB AT COSTA!!! So in my last post I spoke about the interview I had at Costa for a supervisor role and I got it. I couldn’t be any happier! I am feeling a lot better in myself and almost a little more ‘normal’. My confidence has grown with speaking to people on a daily basis and at the same time I’m earning these pennies to pay the bills. Fingers crossed, the only way is up now.

Eat more consistently

Being totally honest with you guys, I have smashed this goal. I’ve been eating a lot more consistently and actually put on a bit of weight. With my partner training for his bodybuilding competitions later on in the year, I have been training a little bit with him and picked up some really good habits so I’m grateful to have such a positive influence in my life.

 

Moving on to my goals for March then…

Talk more

I understand that this may sound absolutely ridiculous, but to me, this is kinda important. Talking is something that doesn’t come easy to me, especially in times of anxiety or when doubting my own opinion. Sometimes I feel as though my opinion isn’t valid or somewhat necessary when talking to my partner or family members. One thing that I need to remember is to believe in my own feelings and thoughts and ‘talk more’ to help with my own self acceptance.

Read daily

One thing I genuinely haven’t done since school is read a book and even then I found it very difficult to actually take in what I was reading. I’d tend to just ‘skim-read’ and not process anything.

I have decided to buy two books which I saw in Tesco a few weeks ago and had a little bit of a burning desire for them. They really do look incredible. So, basically Fearne Cotton has a series of books which are aimed at personal development. The first being named, “Happy” and the second, “Calm”.

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I’m not going to say that I have to finish one of these in March as I feel this is a little unrealistic for myself and my history with reading. But, one thing I am going to do is at least read a little every day just so I’m almost programming my brain to want to read and actually enjoy it. I think it may help with winding down at the end of a long day.

 

My health comes first

This is a bit of a weird one I guess. Basically, so many people keep telling me to look after myself and that my health comes first and I feel as though it’s really difficult to just sit and and accept that maybe sometimes I’m not going to be okay. I am that person who will keep going and going until I literally can’t stand anymore. E.g. I will push myself at work even if I aren’t well and yeah I’ll more than likely be worse off for it.

With my undiagnosed issue of fitting and having seizures, I really do need to be careful not to overwork myself. Most of the time I feel totally fine and it takes me by surprise but I think if I just take it easy from now and again then it might help. The worst thing about it is that I am literally sat in limbo until August when I get to go to the hospital to see a neurologist. What do I do till then? Am I supposed to just carry on like everything is normal? How are me and my boyfriend supposed to live a normal life where he isn’t worried about leaving me on my own?

 

Anyway, enough of me ranting about my health, that’s my goals for the month and I’m really hoping to smash them. As for last months goals, they will not be forgotten and I will still be using my weekly and daily trackers, as well as eating properly too.

I hope you lovelies have enjoyed reading, any questions or feedback would be highly appreciate so feel free to leave below.